Begin every action that is for God’s sake joyfully. – St. Isaac the Syrian
I have a mantra bracelet that says “Choose Joy”… which I wear because, at the time I bought it, it seemed like a really good idea. I still think it’s a good idea, but more and more, I’m not really sure what it means…
Merriam Webster defines joy as an emotion, but I have come to understand that true joy is not just an emotional state. Human experience is nearly always a combination of body, mind, and spirit… or, for healers, a reflection of the state of our physical, emotional, and spiritual health.
Joan Halifax teaches that we are responsible to embrace practices that enable compassion to arise. We can choose to act compassionately, but true compassion is not a choice. I wonder if, like compassion, authentic joy (along with awe and love) isn’t the same. What if joy “arises” within us, welling up from some delightful, deep place that is beyond our mind’s ability to choose? And if that is true, what might the practices be that would nurture joy in our lives?
Notice where you are
Mindfulness, particularly when combined with gratitude, is a powerful way to nurture joy. A few years ago, I wrote this in my journal… “As I sit here now, typing on a work computer with a full day of work ahead of me and a “to do” list that is overwhelming…. I am able to see this computer. I am able to listen to the music someone across the room just put on a speaker for all of us. I am able to type. This place is safe. The people I’m working with are helping others. We are about to have lunch together, to literally break bread as a team. And in consciously making this list of things I might have otherwise taken for granted, I feel the gentle seed of joy beginning to grow.”
Joy is not a binary (there or not), it is more like a spectrum from no sense of joy to overwhelming joy that borders on awe. That’s important because mindfulness (and all other practices) will initially feel like they barely move the needle… and that’s ok. No matter where you start (even if the gauge is on empty), grateful mindfulness will lead to a tiny seed of joy. And over time and with practice, that seed will grow, allowing joy to arise more often and with greater ease.
Nurture the things that bring you joy
Nurturing things you know bring you joy begins with simply noticing when you have joy well up within you. One of the best ways to make this a true practice is to use the “delight practice” described by Ross Gay, an embodied practice that reinforces joy.
That may be enough. But joy also grows through more deliberate practices such as prayer/meditation, reading, journaling, playing music, calling or writing to a friend you haven’t seen in a while, walking in nature, checking in with older relatives if it’s been more than a couple of days, learning something new, cooking for your family and/or friends.
There are many teachers of joy who can also help you on this journey. For example Thich Nat Hanh offers instruction for five practices (mindfulness, letting go, inviting positive seeds, concentration, and insight) to nurture happiness. (If you aren’t familiar with his life and teachings, it is a wonderful place to start as you seek more joy in your life.) The Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu shared their wisdom in The Book of Joy, which is another wonderful resource to think about and nurture joy.
Bring joy to others
Joy is contagious but even more importantly, making other people happy brings joy to you as well. This doesn’t have to be big gestures or gifts. Take, for example, the “hello ministry” a friend recently described to me. Instead of walking by strangers (and even sometimes acquaintances), this practice is simply to smile and say “hello” to every person who crosses your path. How simple is that? (Or how hard, depending on your day.)
Gratitude journals have been shown to bring joy and, yes, just writing down three things you are grateful for (or three things you did to bring someone else joy) is powerful. But the real power of the gratitude journal is not the nightly list – it’s that it changes how you see your day. Because this nightly task exists, you subconsciously frame your day with gratitude and joy, looking for moments and events to record later.
Fake it until you make it (sort of)
You can’t fake real joy, but you can decide to act joyfully. St. Isaac the Syrian, a 7th Century Eastern Orthodox theologian talks about beginning actions joyfully, which is a choice. In essence you can choose to act joyfully even though you feel no joy. What that specifically means for you may be intentionally smiling, or walking with a posture that says you are happy… but whatever you decide will be unique to you, since each of us expresses joy differently. That being said, there are a few things I believe are common to all who seek to act joyfully – enthusiasm, laughter, and kindness.
(A small caveat…this is an idea to experiment with. Acting in a way that feels inauthentic can also lead to injury (emotional and spiritual)… hence the “sort of”.)
The 10 Commandments of Joy
Susan Sparks (a lawyer, pastor, and stand-up comedian) has come up with 10 Commandments of Joy.
I can’t think of a better way to bless your journey than to share them:
1-Thou Shalt Not Worry
2-Thou Shalt Not Let Anger Steal Your Joy
3-Thou Shalt Believe You Deserve Joy
4-Thou Shalt Laugh with God
5-Thou Shalt Pray It and Say It: I’m Grateful!
6-Thou Shalt Laugh with Your Neighbor—Even if Your Neighbor is a Telemarketer
7-Thou Shalt Laugh and Eat Chocolate and Chili Peppers
8-Thou Shalt Be Like the Little Children
9-Thou Shalt Lean on Laughter in Times of Trouble
10 -Thou Shalt Not Waste ANY Opportunities for Joy
