Can You Really “Choose Joy”?

Begin every action that is for God’s sake joyfully. – St. Isaac the Syrian

I have a mantra bracelet that says “Choose Joy”… which I wear because, at the time I bought it, it seemed like a really good idea. I still think it’s a good idea, but more and more, I’m not really sure what it means…

Merriam Webster defines joy as an emotion, but I have come to understand that true joy is not just an emotional state. Human experience is nearly always a combination of body, mind, and spirit… or, for healers, a reflection of the state of our physical, emotional, and spiritual health.

Joan Halifax teaches that we are responsible to embrace practices that enable compassion to arise. We can choose to act compassionately, but true compassion is not a choice.  I wonder if, like compassion, authentic joy (along with awe and love) isn’t the same. What if joy “arises” within us, welling up from some delightful, deep place that is beyond our mind’s ability to choose? And if that is true, what might the practices be that would nurture joy in our lives?

Notice where you are

Mindfulness, particularly when combined with gratitude, is a powerful way to nurture joy. A few years ago, I wrote this in my journal… “As I sit here now, typing on a work computer with a full day of work ahead of me and a “to do” list that is overwhelming…. I am able to see this computer. I am able to listen to the music someone across the room just put on a speaker for all of us. I am able to type. This place is safe. The people I’m working with are helping others. We are about to have lunch together, to literally break bread as a team. And in consciously making this list of things I might have otherwise taken for granted, I feel the gentle seed of joy beginning to grow.”  

Joy is not a binary (there or not), it is more like a spectrum from no sense of joy to overwhelming joy that borders on awe. That’s important because mindfulness (and all other practices) will initially feel like they barely move the needle… and that’s ok. No matter where you start (even if the gauge is on empty), grateful mindfulness will lead to a tiny seed of joy. And over time and with practice, that seed will grow, allowing joy to arise more often and with greater ease.

Nurture the things that bring you joy

Nurturing things you know bring you joy begins with simply noticing when you have joy well up within you. One of the best ways to make this a true practice is to use the “delight practice” described by Ross Gayan embodied practice that reinforces joy.

That may be enough. But joy also grows through more deliberate practices such as prayer/meditation, reading, journaling, playing music, calling or writing to a friend you haven’t seen in a while, walking in nature, checking in with older relatives if it’s been more than a couple of days, learning something new, cooking for your family and/or friends. 

There are many teachers of joy who can also help you on this journey. For example Thich Nat Hanh offers instruction for five practices (mindfulness, letting go, inviting positive seeds, concentration, and insight) to nurture happiness. (If you aren’t familiar with his life and teachings, it is a wonderful place to start as you seek more joy in your life.)  The Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu shared their wisdom in The Book of Joy, which is another wonderful resource to think about and nurture joy.

Bring joy to others

Joy is contagious but even more importantly, making other people happy brings joy to you as well. This doesn’t have to be big gestures or gifts. Take, for example, the “hello ministry” a friend recently described to me. Instead of walking by strangers (and even sometimes acquaintances), this practice is simply to smile and say “hello” to every person who crosses your path. How simple is that? (Or how hard, depending on your day.)

Gratitude journals have been shown to bring joy and, yes, just writing down three things you are grateful for (or three things you did to bring someone else joy) is powerful. But the real power of the gratitude journal is not the nightly list – it’s that it changes how you see your day. Because this nightly task exists, you subconsciously frame your day with gratitude and joy, looking for moments and events to record later.

Fake it until you make it (sort of)

You can’t fake real joy, but you can decide to act joyfully. St. Isaac the Syrian, a 7th Century Eastern Orthodox theologian talks about beginning actions joyfully, which is a choice. In essence you can choose to act joyfully even though you feel no joy. What that specifically means for you may be intentionally smiling, or walking with a posture that says you are happy… but whatever you decide will be unique to you, since each of us expresses joy differently. That being said, there are a few things I believe are common to all who seek to act joyfully – enthusiasm, laughter, and kindness.  

(A small caveat…this is an idea to experiment with. Acting in a way that feels inauthentic can also lead to injury (emotional and spiritual)… hence the “sort of”.)

The 10 Commandments of Joy

Susan Sparks (a lawyer, pastor, and stand-up comedian) has come up with 10 Commandments of Joy

I can’t think of a better way to bless your journey than to share them:

1-Thou Shalt Not Worry

2-Thou Shalt Not Let Anger Steal Your Joy

3-Thou Shalt Believe You Deserve Joy

4-Thou Shalt Laugh with God

5-Thou Shalt Pray It and Say It: I’m Grateful!

6-Thou Shalt Laugh with Your Neighbor—Even if Your Neighbor is a Telemarketer

7-Thou Shalt Laugh and Eat Chocolate and Chili Peppers

8-Thou Shalt Be Like the Little Children

9-Thou Shalt Lean on Laughter in Times of Trouble

10 -Thou Shalt Not Waste ANY Opportunities for Joy

Lessons from the Pandemic: Richard Rohr, Walking, and Lawn Chairs

It’s almost impossible during times of stress to be motivated to do hard things. For all but the most hardcore exercisers, ice cream just seems more soothing than running when you are emotionally exhausted (Right?). I’m no different. But, as much as I would like to think “later” will be ok to regain what I have lost in these months of being more sedentary than usual, I have begun to realize that I needed to get moving again.

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Enter Richard Rohr

I’ve been a fan of Richard Rohr for years. He’s a gifted writer with the laugh and smiling eyes of someone who has tapped into something I want to know more about. I subscribe to his weekly email, which this week introduced Jonathan Stall’s practice of moving “as a way to invite brave creativity.”

There is a lot to unpack in that idea.

What exactly would “brave creativity” look like? I’m not sure, but it sounded like something I, and I suspect all of us, need more of right now.

“We invite you, as able, to take some time this weekend to move mindfully through your local area.”

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I set off on a different kind of walk.

I grabbed my mask and headed out for a walk in my neighborhood, trying to think about this not just as exercise, but as something more. I read Jonathan Stall’s advice again:

  1. Bring something to jot ideas down while you are out, but more importantly, invite your “goals/pains/dreams”  to join you on this walk.
  2. Walk for at least 30-40 minutes
  3. Wear a mask if you get within 6-10 feet of anyone (respect for your neighbor)
  4. Start the walk with a sense of being open. “As you begin to move, seek the realms of wonder, of space, and of reaching high into what’s possible…”

Where did all these lawn chairs come from?

I’ve walked many times before in my neighborhood, and I’m an observant person.  But today, as I walked, I began to notice all the chairs on people’s lawns and all the swings, and “tires” hanging from trees. 

Were they always here and I didn’t notice them?

Are more people sitting outside now than before – even though it’s outrageously hot here in August?

Is this because of how much we all need (safe) connection to each other during the time of pandemic?

Are there actually more chairs, swings and tires because of how much we all need to hear birds, see trees and listen to the cicadas in the summer evening right now?

Next steps?

Yes, there will be next steps. This experiment led me to more questions than answers, but I had a real a sense of being taught, too.  

Try it?

Let me know what you see.

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Yes, I’m a Surgeon and Yes, I teach Mindfulness

At the most recent ACS Clinical Congress, I was really struck by a presentation on mindfulness given by Sharmila Dissanaike and asked her if she would be willing to write about the topic for wellnessrounds.  To my delight she agreed!

 

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The recent #Ilooklikeasurgeon phenomenon reminded me that times do indeed change – albeit slowly. The peak of this phenomenon happened to coincide with my talk at the American College of Surgeons on “Mindfulness for Stress Reduction and Burnout Prevention”. If you had told me 10 years ago that I would one day deliver this brief lesson in stepping off the treadmill for a few moments, I would have said you were crazy. Surgery was only for the tough, and the tough don’t need breaks (or so we thought). As a woman surgeon, it was even more important to me that no chinks show in the armor, and being a trauma surgeon proved an easy way to solidify my “street cred” despite being a 5”2’ little brown woman with long hair.

So it has taken a while for me to feel confident enough to broach such a “soft” topic in a public surgical forum. Obviously age and (a little) wisdom has probably helped, but there is also a tangible change in the prevailing culture of surgery as exemplified by the #Ilooklikeasurgeon movement and other similar initiatives; where calling for help is no longer an (automatic) sign of weakness, and the surgical community has accepted that the good old days (or bad old days, depending on your perspective) are well and truly over. The next generation of surgeons is currently being greeted with much hand wringing and wailing and gnashing of teeth, for how could a group of kids raised in this limited workhour era possibly achieve the heights of excellence that the “old school” surgical residents achieved? Since the switch to 80-hour workweek happened exactly midway through my residency, I have the privilege of a foot in both worlds, and while I agree that our training paradigms do have to change, I am not yet ready to concede that the golden age of surgery is well and truly behind us. Partly, this is because of the audience that gathered for the session at ACS. What stunned me even more than the opportunity to speak on mindfulness was the full house that gathered for this session, and the enthusiasm and interest generated by a wonderful audience of men and women of all ages, and in nearly equal proportions – it embarrasses me to admit that I had expected to be speaking to a handful of younger female surgeons. Instead, I met the 65 year old broad-based general surgeon who came because he recently lost a younger orthopedic surgeon colleague to suicide – by stabbing himself through both femoral arteries, with surgical precision of course. I met several Governors of the College, who were in the classic “grey haired” demographic, and yet optimistic and enthusiastic about the future of surgery, and the improvements to be had by focusing more on our wellness – that “healing the healer” would have tangible results not just for our own wellbeing but also that of our families and our patients, and was thus an obligation, not an option. I met young surgeons a few years out of residency/fellowship who had already recognized the need for maintaining their own mental health in order to remain functional for as long as possible in order to maximize the productivity to be gained from their long training – working less was certainly not on their priority list. There was clear recognition of the systemic problems that drive a lot of surgeon frustration with ensuing burnout – bureaucracy, being treated as interchangeable expendable cogs in a machine, electronic medical records and endless paperwork topping the list – and yet there was also an acknowledgement that adjusting internal cognitive factors was at least as important for wellbeing as it was to try and change some of the external factors.

The methods I teach are focused on building resilience and capacity – characteristics that are both innate and learned, which can be developed and expanded through meditation and other techniques. One of my favorite analogies is that a spoon of salt in a cup of coffee renders it immediately unpalatable; the same spoon in a river or swimming pool would not be noticed. The spoon of salt represents the unavoidable daily irritants in our lives – the cases that run late, the scrub tech who doesn’t know what instruments you use, the colleague who lets you down in a key meeting. The cup of coffee of course is us – or at least, where most of us start. Instead of spending our lives either trying to avoid all these frustrations (which is futile) or becoming upset when they happen, mindfulness can increase our capacity to be with them fully, accept them for what they are and yet respond thoughtfully and effectively instead of blindly and automatically reacting with anger or frustration (which usually only causes us more trouble in the long run). Over time, we develop an increased capacity to handle irritation without it placing us in a perpetual bad mood, and increased resilience to bounce back from the inevitable traumas of life, both personal and professional.

So why teach mindfulness to surgeons, when there are plenty of other things I could be doing that would probably be more directly beneficial to my career? Because I do believe that the biggest waste of potential is to take a motivated young person, put them through the grueling training to be a surgeon, set them out on a career that is of such benefit to society, and then allow them to flounder and become discouraged 5 – 10 years later, quickly discarding those hard-earned skills as they turn into full time administrators, wound care docs or some other alternate career path. Not that there isn’t value to these professions of course, and some people do realize at a late stage that they are better suited to another path – in which case all of these are excellent choices. But too often it is one bad outcome that leads to a malpractice suit, or some other event that proves just too difficult to handle, that completely derails an otherwise excellent surgeon and this lack of coping – the lack of capacity, and resilience – leads to a complete abandonment of what should be an intrinsically rewarding career.

If mindfulness, meditation and other strategies can help even one surgeon regain a wider perspective and avoid this outcome, then it will have been a worthwhile endeavor.

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Dr. Dissanaike is a general surgeon with primary focus in trauma, burns and critical care, and a Professor at the Texas Tech University Health Sciences Center in Lubbock, TX. She serves as Medical Director of the Level 1 Trauma Center and Co-Director of the regional Burn Center. She has an interest in ethics and humanism, and is on the ethics committees of both the American College of Surgeons (ACS) as well as the American Burn Association.