We’ve done something we aren’t proud of, held the feeling of shame close and suffered as we tried to decide what to do next. It’s usually accompanied by feeling we are the only person who has ever done something so stupid…which means we also feel isolated and alone.
We regret what we did. If it was particularly onerous we may feel remorse. And, because there is (always) a way to turn things around, we may look for a way to repair what has been broken.
The prefix “re” has two meanings in English. It can mean “to repeat” and/or “to turn back”. It can also be used as a way to multiply the force of the word it’s attached to, a way to point to the word and exclaim “THIS!”.
Re-morse: To be bitten over and over.. (something that is gnawing at us)
Re-pent: To regret so much that you are moved to do something about it
The word repentance has become known as strong language. It has been used as a bludgeon or a burden on so many for so long that its original richness may be in danger of being lost—if it hasn’t been already. The Greek word translated into English as “repentance” is metanoia. The prefix meta means “beyond,” hence metaphysics being the study of—or speculation about—what is beyond the natural. The word noia means “thought” or “mind.” Together, however, metanoia means to change your thoughts, to change your mind, to turn in a new direction, to reverse a direction and go a different way. Hello to new directions.
Padraig Ó Tuama, In the Shelter: Finding a Home in the World
If you’ve ever experienced a complete solar eclipse you know how powerful the experience is. The birds stop singing, the skies darken, and every fiber of your being capable of feeling awe is awakened.
They are magical events, and nothing is more magical than the fact that astronomers can tell us exactly when to expect one. People can put them on their calendars, wait for the moment on the appointed day, look up through welding glass, and watch the moon begin to eat the sun…Of course, predicting eclipses is not magic at all—really, it’s the opposite of magic. But this kind of accurate astronomical prediction of such events, which is now routine, wasn’t part of any human cultures until the last few thousand years at most.
The world lost an astounding poet, farmer, and prophet this week, someone who chose a way of life and a way of thinking that stands as an example for us all. May we all learn from the thoughtful decisions he made, and the gentle way expressed them.
When despair for the world grows in me and I wake in the night at the least sound in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be, I go and lie down where the wood drake rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds. I come into the peace of wild things who do not tax their lives with forethought of grief. I come into the presence of still water. And I feel above me the day-blind stars waiting with their light. For a time I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.
Pushups are the ultimate body weight upper body exercise (like squats are for the lower body). You don’t need any equipment, which means it’s a great way for people that are really busy (like medical students, residents, docs and other healers) to stay strong (and become stronger).
During busy seasons, fitness is often one of the first things that gets dropped. The push-up is one of the best “everything is crazy but I can still squeeze this in” movements I know.
The physiology originally taught in medical schools circled around the idea that homeostasis, maintaining a range of acceptable physiology, was what kept us alive and healthy.
But in the late 1980s, this was revised (one might say refined) to a better understanding… that returning to a set point in a constantly fluctuating environment wasn’t enough… nor was it what really happened. Peter Sterling (a Professor of Medicine) and Joseph Eyer (an interdisciplinary scholar interested in stress) realized that ” …the way to stay stable through the process of change is by changing, at least to some extent” – which they called “allostasis”.
I had never heard the words “allostatic load” until recently.
Allostatic load, you know, like when an attending doesn’t speak up when a resident is being belittled. When you don’t speak up you are reinforcing discrimination and isolation … If you want to make this better you need to look in the mirror.
anonymous surgeon
Allostatic load is what pushes us from our states of equilibrium, and it is an important part of how we grow and change. But an allostatic load that is too great, too chronic, or intentionally harmful can push anyone beyond being able to recover or change.
Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.
Dark matter has evaded direct detection for decades because it does not emit, absorb or reflect any light. It is as pervasive as it is inaccessible, making up 85 percent of the matter in our universe, a tease for the particle physicists keen on deciphering its nature.
I’m not a scientist, but I’m fairly fluent in most scientific concepts… and this blows my mind.
This paper (published this week) is a very complicated (for me, not for physicists) description of what the NY Times described “a single, tiny nudge of one particle into another”.
The best part is that the LZ team (250 scientists and engineers from 39 institutions) who published this finding have been looking for this “nudge” for a long time. Even though there’s only a small number of people who can understand this science, it’s clear this may be a game changer in our understanding of the universe… since this amazing team may have actually “seen” dark matter for the first. time.
Rules for a pilgrimage
I’ve been thinking a lot about my Dad this week. After he retired, he took to the road in his Prius for what turned out to be close to 100 “pilgrimages”. The process started with choosing a distant goal – and then he’d just head out in that general direction. He decided day by day on a route using five “rules” (see below). Sometime in the mid afternoon he’d find one of the many hotels on the road that had breakfast included and he’d pull in. He’d check in, pour a Scotch, and start writing.
1. Freeways are to be crossed, not driven on. 2. If the sun gets in your eyes – turn 3. If you see a Dairy Queen with pick-ups in front of it, stop to join the conversation. 4. Ask anyone who is alone at breakfast if you can join them and take the time to learn their story 5. Anything beautiful warrants a stop.
I was able to spend some time with medical students this week as a substitute teacher for their ethics course. We had a great conversation about ethics… but (not surprisingly) we also spent some time talking about more general topics like how hard it is to keep your life in balance as a medical student.
I’ve recently started reading Howard Luks’s blog, an orthopedic surgeon who mostly directs his advice towards people like me (people “of a certain age” as the French say). His advice this week was about “exercise snacks”, which is a great strategy for medical students, residents, and other busy folks (not just those of us who have a few years under our belts) when life it too busy to work exercise into your schedule. “Exercise snacks” are basically “exercise” that takes 30 seconds to a few minutes done multiple times during the day. That’s all. You can do pushups, dance to a song, or (always available in medical schools and hospitals) just take the stairs. Worth trying!
She was an icon of country music and a superstar with millions of fans… but Dolly Parton was also a prophet who changed the world by showing us what it really means to love your neighbor.
“Prophets, then, are full truth-tellers, not fortune-tellers. They pull back the veil to radically reframe our preferred storyline of history: the boring and predictable narrative of winners and losers, rewards and punishments. They are by definition those rare individuals who see reality in its fullness and dimension, rather than in dualities like totally right or totally wrong, all good or all bad.”
Dolly Parton loved her neighbors in Seville County, Tennessee. She also understood deeply that everyone (and especially those who are marginalized) are our neighbors, too – a core teaching of her Christian faith.
Here’s a short list of ways Dolly Parton showed us how to live wisely and love well.
May her memory be a blessing – and a call to action for us to share what we can and love as much as we are able.
“We’re supposed to love one another and love our neighbor as ourselves, but that seems to be such a hard thing to do. Yet it doesn’t take that much time to be kind.”
“The seat you randomly chose today is the seat you’ll sit in for the rest of the term.”
That was the cold open from one of my college professors at the first class of the quarter. And he was right. About me and most of the 200 others in the lecture hall that day.
Fifth row from the back, left side of the auditorium (facing the lecturer), 4th seat from the aisle.
That’s where I sat in medical school.
Why do we pick a specific seat when we walk into a classroom, place of worship, or even a spin class (is it random or not?) … and why do we keep returning to that same seat? I’ve thought for a while that this phenomenon would be a fascinating project for an enterprising graduate student, but it turns out there have been studies done and there are three main explanations for this behavior.
Territoriality. The most powerful driver of why we choose and return to a specific seat is a very primitive one. Territoriality is not so much about claiming our rights to a specific place, but a way for a group to keep the peace. If this is my property and if you agree, we won’t fight about it.
Cognitive load. One less thing to decide means you can decrease a tiny bit of cognitive load.
Social interaction. There’s a plus to being surrounded by people you like (and who like you).
How we choose seats in an auditorium is interesting from a scientific point of view, but it’s also a powerful metaphor. We are drawn to a specific seat by a form of psychological “gravity”, which increases in strength the more times we sit there. There’s a similar form of “gravity” that draws us to our partner, our specialty choice, the city where we want to live. Most of the time this “gravity” grounds us and allows us to grow, but if and when it doesn’t, it helps to remember that you can choose to move to another seat.
“… being subject to physical gravity is mandatory, but being trapped by life gravity is optional.”
I’ve been reminded that I’ve strayed away from periodic advice to medical students and trainees on how to navigate (aka hack) their busy lives to include more joy (and more healthy habits). So here’s a food hack that is great #CallFood and also meets the #PizzaRule (food that takes less time to prepare than it takes to order a pizza).
It’s really hot in Houston, so last night we decided to make a “salade composée” – which means just putting some wonderful items on top of some lettuce in a cool looking pattern. It’s super easy, very fast, delicious, and healthy.
I washed some lettuce (important, especially right now) and spun it dry for the base, cut up a tomato and some cucumber, opened a can of hearts of palm, cut up two hard boiled eggs, and added the leftover roast salmon and potatoes from dinner earlier this week. Which took me less than 10 minutes.
I dressed it with the vinaigrette I learned to make when I lived in France (thank you, Maryvonne… I think of you every time I make it!) – Put salt, pepper, a small dollop of Dijon mustard (this is mostly to act as an emulsifier, so use just a little unless you really love the taste) and a minced up garlic clove in whatever container you are using. Add the vinegar. Classically it’s red wine vinegar, but white wine or champagne vinegar will work, too. Here’s the simple, but important next step – wait a bit before you add the olive oil to make sure the garlic infuses into the vinegar and the salt is completely dissolved. The classic ratio of oil to vinegar in France is 2:1, but I prefer 1:1. Shake it or stir it to combine everything. That’s it. Simple, classic French vinaigrette.
In addition to being a colorful, creative composition (don’t underestimate what that does for your mood!) this is also a salad that lets you use what you have and what you love to eat. Here’s a list of potential ingredients to get you started:
Any fresh vegetable (tomatoes, cucumbers, bell peppers, celery, carrots… you get the idea)
Canned vegetables (green beans, hearts of palm, potatoes, beets, corn, or any other veggie that sounds good to you)
Canned beans like garbanzos or white beans
Leftover proteins or vegetables
Roasted potatoes, cooked green beans, and salmon from the deli in your grocery store
Rotisserie chicken
Anything you want!
Make enough to take to work as #callfood the next day (keep the lettuce separate if you don’t want it to get soggy).
If you want something a little more elegant, the classic salade composée, at least in southern France, is Salade Niçoise, with green beans, tomatoes, potatoes, hardboiled eggs, olives, and either tuna or anchovies. (And yes, this photo looks a lot better than mine!). It’s a great meal to make if you are inviting people over.
Harriet the Spy is the Reason I Eat Tomato Sandwiches
When I saw a headline that said this was the best tomato sandwich ever, I had to try it. I think they may be right. Totally worth trying while tomatoes are in season! Link to the recipe from the New York TImes
This tree is a short 5 minute walk from the Children’s Hospital of New Orleans, which made it easy to walk there if I had a break in the middle of the day to connect with history, nature, and spirit.
Old trees exist everywhere… Find one near you (or when you travel). #Awe
My father used to tell me if you got one good idea out of a book it was worth reading it. I just came across this image in Austin Kleon’s blog… Creating the cards (and taking the photo) surely helps remember important ideas (and where they came from).
Although I follow my ancestors’ spiritual path, I have incredible respect for the varied traditional paths my friends follow…and for those who follow no specific spiritual tradition. This post, which is the text of a sermon I gave on Sunday, does not and should not imply anything beyond my desire to share… and to lift up love where ever we find it.
Nadia Bolz-Weber, one of my favorite modern theologians, is quoted as having said that “reading parables is like using riddles to get directions to the airport.”
Today we have a parable trying to metaphorically get us to our flight on time…and we have a passage that explains why Jesus spoke in parables in the first place, an explanation that was added later by leaders in the early church. (Which is why I’m choosing to focus on the first part, the words of Jesus).
That same day Jesus went out of the house and sat beside the sea. Such great crowds gathered around him that he got into a boat and sat there, while the whole crowd stood on the beach. And he told them many things in parables, saying: “Listen! A sower went out to sow. And as he sowed, some seeds fell on a path, and the birds came and ate them up. Other seeds fell on rocky ground, where they did not have much soil, and they sprang up quickly, since they had no depth of soil. But when the sun rose, they were scorched, and since they had no root, they withered away. Other seeds fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked them. Other seeds fell on good soil and brought forth grain, some a hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty. If you have ears,hear!” Matthew 13:1-9
Soil, Seed, and Sower.
Those are the three obvious things that could be starting points to understand the meaning of this parable.
The soil is where most of us start … But I’m becoming more and more convinced that soil may be the least important of the three symbols here (despite what those early church leaders added in their explanation). That is contrary to what most of us have been taught about this parable. Most people interpret the parable of the sower as a directive to figure out if we, in our own lives, are the hard soil, the gravel, an unkept patch of weeds, or good soil… whether or not we prepared the soil of our souls so that when God’s seeds land there they can grow.
The seeds that are being sown are the second powerful symbol. This seems fairly straightforward…Most scholars agree, and most of us have been taught, that the seeds in this parable are a metaphor for the words of God, a metaphor for planting something new, something good, something of God.
But let’s not forget – this is called the Parable of the Sower… not the Parable of the Soil or the Parable of the Seeds. It’s not set up to primarily be a lesson about the kind of soil you are, or the seeds being planted in your heart.
And more specifically, let’s talk about sowing 2000 years ago, when Jesus spoke these words. Sowing in 1st century Israel wasn’t anything like how farmers today plant their crops – and that’s important to understand this verse.
Modern farmers plow their fields and then plant the seeds, but in 1st century Israel it was the opposite… first the seeds and then the plow.
Sowing took place after the first big rain of the year in October or November, a rain that softened the ground that had been baked during the summer…which is mentioned in today’s reading from Psalm 65:
Thus have you prepared the land: drenching its furrows, breaking up its clods, softening it with showers, blessing its yield.
Following the first rain of autumn, farmers would walk with a bowl of seeds, reaching in to grab handfuls of seeds to fling in arcs over the ground. (This technique, by the way, is called broadcast sowing – which is the origin of the word broadcast used to describe spreading things by radio or TV.)
The seeds were tossed onto fields that had been basically untouched since the harvest in May, 5-6 months before. During those fallow months, people walked across the fields, tamping down the earth as they walked which created paths. Seeds that fell on these paths were easily seen and quickly eaten by birds.
After the seeds were scattered they plowed, which ensured that at least some, if not most of the seeds were covered. And then they did something that is truly not part of modern farming. They used oxen or other animals – and their own feet – to walk over the entire surface of the field to push seeds left on the surface into the ground. Which led to three possible outcomes for the seeds that hadn’t been eaten by the birds:
If the seeds ended up in shallow ground that couldn’t be plowed because of rocks or gravel, they would grow, but not have enough roots to live.
If the seeds were in a part of the field where weeds had been plowed under but not uprooted, the weeds would take over and choke growth from the seeds.
And then there’s the third possible outcome – In the parts of the field where everything worked – where the seeds were covered, the soil was deep enough, and there weren’t any weeds, you could expect them to grow and produce a harvest.
All that to say… It’s clear that these farmers lost a lot of seeds… to birds, to shallow ground, to weeds. But “losing” all these seeds was normal and expected… It was part of farming in the 1st century. It’s still part of gardening and farming now – as reflected in a proverb often used to teach young gardeners and farmers: “One for the mouse, one for the crow, one to rot, one to grow”.
That’s why I think this isn’t a parable about the soil or the lack of preparation of the field. It’s not about our hard hearts, or weed filled spirits, or being shallow. Because everything about how these seeds were planted and how they were expected to grow (or not) was normal operating procedure for a 1st century farmer.
What isn’t particularly normal or expected is the harvest that Jesus predicts for the seeds that grow well. Everyone who heard his words in the 1st century would have known that a reasonable harvest would give you seven times what you planted. A truly exceptional harvest would be ten-fold. But Jesus talks about thirty, sixty, a hundred-fold! Everyone listening would have known that was impossible, that he was talking about something miraculous.
So why parables? Why this parable?
Like last week, there is a clue in the passage left out of today’s Gospel text. In verse 13, Jesus says “The reason I speak to them in parables is that ‘seeing they do not perceive, and hearing they do not listen, nor do they understand.’”
This seems crazy, right? What he’s saying here is “I am telling them these weird stories, these parables, because if I just tell them what to do, they won’t get it.”
Why not just tell us what to do? Why do we have to ponder these “riddles”? The best explanation I’ve found so far comes from Rachel Held Evans…
“In Walking on Water, Madeleine L’Engle tells of a young woman who told the author, “I read A Wrinkle in Time when I was eight or nine. I didn’t understand it, but I knew what it was about.”
That’s often how I feel about the parables of Jesus. I don’t understand them exactly, but I know what they’re about.
L’Engle concludes: “…One does not have to understand to be obedient. Instead of understanding—that intellectual understanding which we are so fond of—there is a feeling of rightness, of knowing, knowing things which you are not yet able to understand…As long as we know what it’s about, then we can have the courage to go wherever we are asked to go, even if we fear that the road may take us through danger and pain.”
So here’s what I think this parable is about, which is more important than trying to intellectually understand it:
God throws the seeds we need into the world with almost reckless abandon and without judgement. God knows that only a few will take root… that’s the nature of sowing seeds! But when they do take root and grow – in us, in our communities, and in our world, what happens is beyond what we can imagine, each seed that takes root producing a miraculous number of new seeds for us to sow into the soil of our injured and hurting world.
This parable is also about our responsibility as sowers. It tells us that we aren’t responsible for what happens to the seeds of love we sow in the world…But we have a responsibility, a duty to sow them anyway, flinging them with reckless abandon and without judgement, knowing that only a small portion of them will take root.
This parable is also about what happens when God’s love takes root, how that love multiplies and grows in ways we can’t imagine.
We don’t have to understand this parable to be obedient – because we know what it’s about.
So load up your shoulder bags and let’s go.
It’s time to sow some seeds.
Amen.
Sermons are meant to be heard. If you’d like to listen to this one, it starts at 31:26 here.
Radio Garden. This amazing website lets you spin a globe to randomly land on live FM stations over the entire planet. So cool.
Check Your Instagram Settings!
This seems important. You can read more about it here, but Meta’s new stealth policy sounds particularly dangerous for physicians and other healers.
“All someone has to do is tag your account’s profile in a prompt—if it’s public—and they can use Meta AI to generate an image using your likeness.”
Here’s how to tune this off..
“Open the Instagram app, tap your profile, and then tap the three lines in the top-right corner of the screen. Then, scroll down to the Sharing and reuse tab. Here is where you should see a section labeled Allow people to use your content on Instagram and with AI features on Meta, with a toggle for Posts and one for Reels.”
Mighty Fungi
AM (arbuscular mycorrhizal) fungi were in the news last week because of a beautiful study that determined there are “621 trillion miles of fungal pathways containing around 300 megatons of carbon within Earth’s topsoils”.
“The answer is not to abandon fertilizers but to find a balance between fertilizer use and nurturing the living soils and the billions of microbial communities that quietly sustain American and global agriculture.”
AM fungi is a really good example of something very small and quite amazing that I’ve never paid attention to before. Good lesson.
Our goal should be to live life in radical amazement…to get up in the morning and look at the world in a way that takes nothing for granted. Everything is phenomenal;everything is incredible;never treat life casually. To be spiritual is to be amazed.
