#MedGradWishList

Every year about this time, I try to put together a list for people trying to find the right gift for someone they know who is graduating from medical school.

This year’s list is a special one.

If you haven’t heard of #medgradwishlist, it’s an amazing grassroots effort to create Amazon wish lists for URM students matching this week. This is a brilliant “pay it forward” initiative. I’ve been a Program Director and a Dean of Student Affairs and I know how many new grads finish medical school with enormous debt and empty bank accounts. The ~17,000 students graduating from medical school this year are about to start on the exciting – but stressful – path of becoming a physician. Not being able to afford the things that make that journey possible just isn’t acceptable.

If you want to support these soon to be MDs, here is the spreadsheet with the names of the residents who have registered.  (You can also search #medgradwishlist on Twitter). You can buy things on their list anonymously (or not). When you find the right thing for the right person, don’t forget to include some memories of your internship, advice, and words of encouragement!

If you are a student (or even a struggling resident) in need, please join this effort to get what you need. We are sure you will pay it forward to extend this support to next year’s class!

Photo credit

I spent quite a bit of time looking at all the #medgradwishlists on Amazon, and I’m happy to share what I learned. In addition to their great ideas, I have some suggestions to add…

@drmlb‘s Top Ten #medgradwishlist suggestions

Instant Pot. This was on a lot of the Amazon lists, and I agree!!! II had to suggest one item to make life as a resident easier, it would be this. Several people asked for air fryers on their Amazon lists. Just as an FYI, you already (sort of) own an air fryer since your oven set on convection does close to the same thing!

Someone to help clean and do laundry. I know you can’t put this on an Amazon wish list, but if you have a family member who either can do this for you, or pay someone to do this for you, it’s one of the best gifts you will ever receive.

Digital gifts to make communicating and studying easier. The single most important tool for an intern is their phone. If they don’t have a new phone that can reliably work with WIFi and cellular, this should be at the top of your gift list. A computer that works, has the ability to do streaming well, and is reliable is also key since it’s how they will study, write, and watch educational videos. They’ll want the flexibility of studying in a coffee shop (once we get COVID19 under control) or on their couch so make sure it’s a laptop and not a desktop computer.

There were some great ideas on the Amazon lists for items that aren’t quite as expensive as computers that you might consider as well: ring light for Zoom meetings, LED study light, lap top desk for your lap, iPad Pro, Apple pencil.I should add that buying a large quantity of pens to be “borrowed” by attendings would be a big win, too.

The kitchen (other than the Instant Pot). It’s so important to eat well when you work as hard as interns work (and to stay well caffeinated). There were some great ideas from my new colleagues on their Amazon lists including single serve coffee makers, pot and pan sets, nonstick bakeware set (if they are a baker!), wine opener :-),  and food storage bags and containers. A box or two of Kind Bars (my favorite) or other meal replacement bars is a great gift, too. And for the times cooking is just one task too many – Door Dash, Uber Eats, and/or Grub Hub gift cards are a great gift. One other must have… a Yeti mug to keep coffee hot during rounds!

Clocks and watches. We all have phones that can serve as alarm clocks, but an alarm clock that gently lights up the room is a much better way to wake up than sudden noise. I wouldn’t say an Apple watch is essential (and if you do a lot of procedures it might be easy to lose) but it is worn by a good percentage of folx in the hospital. A new watch might be in order, even if it’s not an expensive digital watch.

USMLE3 study book. If you are a family member who is thinking about getting this as a present, you might also want to include a check for $895 as a “bookmark” to cover the cost of registering for this exam.

Make your home a stress-free zone. If you are setting up a new home, this list can be really extensive. You’ll need to go home to a clean, happy space, so whatever you can do to make that happen is important. There were a lot of good ideas in the Amazon wish lists including self-cleaning cat boxes, pet hair removal brushes, furniture, shower curtains, towels, and a video doorbell. I’d add a Roomba vacuum cleaner to this list, too! BTW, a good TV is important, too. We all need to binge watch the Great British Baking Show as therapy sometimes.

Sleep. In this category I would include good quality pillows, a new mattress, light blocking curtains, white noise machines, and electric or weighted blankets.

Music. Most people fill their space at home with sound as well as light, so think about good WiFi speakers like Sonos and/or gift certificates for ad-free music services  like Apple Music, Spotify, Pandora.

Health. Last but not least! The most important thing on this list in my opinion is a great water bottle since, particularly with masks on all day, none of us drink enough water. A new Sonicare toothbrush or WaterPik for dental health will be appreciated. Foot care is another important part of being a healthy resident, so consider gifting compression socks, good shoes, work insoles and/or a foot massager. Anything that promotes or makes fitness easier is also a good gift – a new bicycle for commuting, new shoes for the hospital, workout gloves, free weights, resistance bands. You might also consider a meditation app like Headspace, or subscription to yoga classes on line. And… lest I fail to jump on this wonderful bandwagon, if you can afford the Peloton, it’s a favorite among physicians!

Photo credit

p.s. What NOT to buy or ask for

  • Scrubs. I noticed a lot of folx asking for scrubs. Nope – don’t do it! You will be required to wear the scrubs from the hospital since there are rules about them being washed in the hospital laundry.
  • Textbooks. You are pretty much guaranteed to have access to a library where these books will be in digital format and free. These books are heavy! You aren’t going to take them to work and when you get home, you may have other things to read that take priority.
  • Printers. This is expensive and you just won’t use them. You are going to have to stay digital to really learn what you need to learn as a resident. Besides, if you do need to print out the return slip for Amazon, there will always be a printer at the hospital you can use!
  • Black bag. If you are a family member thinking of getting one of these… don’t.

And finally…

For my new colleagues matching this week and starting your internship in June …

May your journey through this liminal time be as stress free and as joyful as possible. May every day as an intern bring you hearts to heal and hands to hold, new learning, and a sense of wonder and awe.

We are so happy you are joining us in this noble and sacred work!

Top 10 Holiday Presents for Medical Students, Residents and Physicians: #COVID19 edition

Every year about this time, I create a list of presents I think busy healers (and healers in training) would appreciate. I don’t have to tell you that this has been a year that for all of us, but especially for everyone in medicine, has brought a new level of stress and sadness. The healers need healing… and in that spirit, here are some ideas of what you can send your friends in medicine for Hanukkah, Kwanza, Christmas, the Winter Solstice… or to celebrate the end of 2020 and beginning of a new year of hope.

Photo credit

#10.  White coat, jacket and/or scrub “bling”.  Everyone who works in a hospital has a badge that must be worn all the time. And we all need pens (except for the attendings… we just “borrow” pens that students and residents keep in their pockets for us … just kidding … mostly). Here are some suggestions: Find a lanyard or badge holder from their favorite sports team or that will otherwise have meaning for them. Buy a box of cheap pens (that can be given away to needy attendings)  + a great pen that will remind them of you every time they write with it. For white coats, find a meaningful or humorous pin that could be worn on other clothes as well.

Photo credit

#9 Happy Feet.  Think about putting together a “happy feet” box – include things like warm slippers, good socks, a certificate for a pair of shoes to wear in the hospital, compression socks, toenail clippers, and any other foot care products that sounds right. 

Photo credit

#8 Better sleep. Sleep can be hard if you have had a really hard stretch at work. It’s especially hard if you’ve worked all night and have to sleep during the day. You can put together a combination of gifts like new high-count sheets, eye covers and ear plugs for sleeping after a night shift, a certificate for a new mattress, a white noise machine or a weighted blanket.

Photo credit

#7 Work food. Busy students and residents frequently miss meals. Think about creating home made “snack packs” for the hospital by combining options like nuts, dried fruits, and high quality candy into small zip lock bags. Or buy healthy meal replacement bars in bulk. Make sure they are high quality, real food bars. My favorites are Kind bars but there are many other bars that are healthy and delicious.

Photo credit

#6 Gift cards. When you ask students and residents which gift cards would be most appreciated it’s pretty consistently these three:  Amazon, Trader’s Joes, Whole Foods or other grocery stores, and Starbucks.

Photo credit

#5 Digital upgrades. A high-quality phone is a critically important tool in the hospital. Everyone in medicine spends a good part of the day texting each other, looking up patients on Haiku (the Epic phone app), checking UpToDate for the latest treatments, finding other medical information in many other places and – of course – staying in touch with our teams, friends and families. Up to date computers, iPads, and AirPods (or equivalent) are also great gift options for any student or resident.

Photo credit

#4 A cleaner house. Pre pandemic, I recommended someone to help clean as the number one gift for medical folks. But, even with the limitations imposed by COVID, there are still gifts that can help! Number one on this list would be a Roomba so they don’t have to vacuum.

Photo credit

#3 Healthy meals at home that don’t take time. The Instant Pot has been my top recommendation as a gift for students, residents and busy healers for several years. Another wonderful gift I’ve recommended before is How to Cook Everything Fast: A Better Way to Cook Great Food by Mark Bittman. This year, I would add a certificate to meal delivery plans. The one I use is Clean Creations (because I like to have vegetarian options), but many of my friends swear by Freshly. Every city has companies that are similar, so do some homework and you’ll find several to compare. If you are a good cook, you might consider creating your own “meal deliveryservice” for your loved one, especially if you live in the same city.

Photo credit

#2 Caffeine. This comes in different forms for different people, but unless they avoid caffeine for religious reasons, almost every healer and healer in training I know has a go to form of caffeine they love. For most people, it’s coffee. The number one gift on the list (my opinion) for coffee lovers is a Nespresso machine (and some pods to go with it). You can also get them a metal “pod” for their own coffee rather than the Nespresso pods which will save some money. There are other options for pod coffee machines, so you might want to read about them all before deciding. Having tried coffee from a variety of machines, I personal think Nespresso makes the best cup of coffee, but I am partial to espresso. Another great gift option for serious coffee drinkers is programmable coffeemaker so their coffee is ready when they get up at “dark thirty” to get to work. For tea drinkers, there are many options for teas, brewing systems, and pots. For all healers, regardless whether they are coffee or tea drinkers, a gift at the top of the list would have to be a Yeti or Contigo tumbler. These tumblers keep coffee or tea hot for hours… so your drink is still there and still hot when you get pulled away from that first sip.

Photo credit

#1 Money. Students and residents, with rare exceptions, don’t have money for special things. Some don’t have enough money after rent and loans for things most of us would consider essentials. Giving money may seem a bit impersonal, but you can make it personal with a letter, a card, or creative packaging.

Photo credit

p.s. If you want to check out my pre-quarantine lists for other ideas here are the links to last year’s list, and the year before.

p.p.s Thanks so much to my Twitter friends for helping me with ideas!

Making Sourdough Bread as a Resident (or anyone with a crazy work schedule)

I just waved goodbye to a dear friend as she started the drive to her new residency – with a jar of “Tamar”, my sourdough starter* in her cooler. I was going to print some instructions to send with the starter, but decided it might be better to put those instructions here for her – and for all of you who have thought about making sourdough bread (but think you are too busy).

Why bother?

This is a legitimate question. What I’ve learned from making my own bread during the pandemic is that it’s more than just having delicious, warm bread to sustain you.  I won’t wax too poetic, but there are three reasons I think you should ponder baking your own bread:

  • A sourdough starter is a living thing who is there to help feed you
  • Making the bread is an act of self-care, a gift to yourself
  • This is a  profoundly slow and deliberate act. Mindfulness doesn’t get any better than this.

So, if you are intrigued, I’ve thought about this for a while and here is how I think this could work for residents – even during a crazy 80 hour week.

Photo credit

Step 1: Get or make a starter

There’s a decent chance that someone where you work bakes sourdough bread. If they do, they will be delighted to give you some starter. It’s not a bad way to make some new friends and/or expand your circle of friends.

If you don’t find someone with starter, make your own. Sourdough starter comes from the bacteria and yeast that are in our environment so it’s a matter of mixing flour, water and time. If you want to help out some scientists while you make your starter, check out the NC State Sourdough Project.

Step 2: Understand the big picture

  • Sourdough starter is a living thing. You need to feed it once a week by adding some water and flour. Period. If you want to stop here and just have the starter around “in case” you decide to bake, this is all you have to do.
  • You are going to love the science of this. I’ll even predict you’ll end up using a scale to make sure your grams of ingredients are exact… but remember, as much as this will feel like science, its also how our ancestors made bread thousands of years ago. Don’t lose that perspective.. or that connection… when you bake.
  • It’s a four-step process with variations depending on the recipe:
    • Mix the 4 ingredients (starter, flour, salt and water) to make dough
    • Rise – long and slow. Overnight in the fridge, 2-6 hours on the counter. It varies by the recipe.
    • 2nd rise – usually. for 1-3 hours and in a container to shape the dough
    • Bake

Step 3: Find an easy recipe to start with so you don’t get overwhelmed…

Here’s a really easy first recipe:

  • Mix the dough (1 cup starter, 1.75 cups lukewarm water, 5 cups of flour, 1 tablespoon of salt)
  • Let it rise for about an hour then stretch it out and fold it onto itself several times. The recipe says repeat this once an hour for a total of three times, but you can skip the 2nd and/or 3rd times if you need to.
  • Put it in the refrigerator overnight.
  • Flip it over, seam side up into a bowl or loaf pan (to shape it) and let it sit for 2.5-3 hours.
  • Flip it back over (seam side down) into your pan, slash the top to provide a controlled way to expand and bake.

Step 4: Map out a schedule

Let’s say it’s Thursday evening and you are off on Friday. Here’s how this recipe might work for you…

  • Thursday when you get home, mix the dough. If you don’t have time to let it rise on the counter for an hour and stretch it, just put it in the refrigerator. (Trust me, it will work). Take the starter that didn’t go into the recipe, feed it, and put it back in the refrigerator.
  • Friday when you wake up put the dough in a bowl or loaf pan and let it sit for 2-3 hours on the counter. This will mold it into whatever shape you want.
  • Heat up your cooking container (dutch oven, oven proof pot, tray) as you preheat the oven.
  • Put parchment paper on top of the bowel and flip the dough out of the bowl onto the parchment paper.
  • Use the parchment paper to lower the dough into your hot cooking container.
  • Score the top and bake!
  • (Don’t forget to let it sit for an “hour” before you slice it… no matter how good it smells)
When you overproof dough (too long with too vigorous a starter) is gets REALLY liquid and REALLY sour. It isn’t worth trying to salvage it.

It’s an art. Everyone has bread that bombs.

Don’t worry! Just keep the starter alive, regroup and try again!

If you find you are having issues with getting a good rise, it’s ok to put some dry yeast in as “insurance”.  Poilâne’s famous sourdough includes it as part of the recipe, so it can’t be a “failure” in the sourdough world!

Comparing stater activation between white flour (dotted line) and whole wheat (solid line)

What to study next

If you are reading this, there’s a good chance you are Type A. You’ll probably get a notebook and treat this like a science experiment … like I did. Go for it! It turns out that even though sourdough bread has only 4 ingredients (starter, flour, water, salt) there are lots of variables that can affect the loaf e.g. temperature of the water, humidity in the room, etc. There is real joy in paying this much attention while creating something that is so sustaining. On the other hand, if this doesn’t make you happy, just make the bread!

Did I mention?… it’s not just bread…foccacia, pizza dough, pancakes… just wait until you find all the cool things you can do with sourdough starter and discard!

Blogs and websites that have helped me a lot

King Arthur Flour – Sourdough Baking: The Complete Guide  (Check out their blog, too)

The Perfect Loaf

Here are some of my favorite books so far (all links are to independent bookstores)

Artisan Sourdough Made Simple, by Emilie Raffe

Do/Sourdough/Slow bread for busy lives by Andrew Whitley

The Tassajara Bread Book

Poilâne by Appolonia Pouilâne

Starter Sourdough: The Step-By-Step Guide to Sourdough Starters, Baking Loaves, Baguettes, Pancakes, and More 

I wish you mindful baking and joy from your sustaining and delicious bread!

*There is a tradition of naming sourdough starters.

Self care in the time of #COVID19

It’s so important, and so very hard, to care for yourself when times are tough. When routines are disrupted and fear and anxiety are present, our usual ways of caring for ourselves seem to (appropriately) fly out the window.  So, here are some ways to think about caring for yourself in the time of COVID19, whether you are working (at home or in the hospital) or isolated at home.

Connect with nature. Long after this pandemic is over, the earth will still be here and spring will continue to happen every year. Make sure you get a good dose of the smell of grass, the sight of a blue sky, the feeling of a cool breeze on your face at least once a day (but hopefully more).

Move. It’s normal that workout schedules are disrupted right now, but it’s not a good time to completely give up on your physical wellbeing. There is nothing good about being sedentary – not only does it make you feel physically bad, it also contributes to sadness and anxiety. A good, brisk walk outside may be the best “workout” right now since it combines movement and getting a dose of nature… but please make sure you practice social distancing and stay six feet away from everyone.

Eat well and enjoy good chocolate. You may be limited in your choices and your ability to get real food, but do your best. This is not a good time to succumb to the junk food as comfort food diet. Nor is it a good time to be overly restrictive. Splurge on small doses of the foods that make you feel comforted, but make sure it’s the best version of that food possible! Now is not the time for cheap chocolate… just sayin’.

Keep your spaces clean. Our homes need to be a safe sanctuary now more than ever, and that means we need to know they are clean. In addition to creating a ritual to enter your home, come up with a plan to keep your home neat and cleaner than usual. If it helps, what we’ve done is set a mindfulness timer to ring 3 random bells an hour when we are home. Every time it rings, we do one small bit of cleaning (or one set of an exercise) e.g. vacuum one room, clean the countertops, wipe off all door handles or do some pushups. What you lose in efficiency is made up for by breaking up an otherwise boring task and by the “surprise” of the random “request”.

Dose your news. We need to know what’s happening, but we don’t need to know it all the time. The human brain doesn’t like being continually bombarded with potentially dangerous information. It promotes the physiologic stress response and pushes us towards fight, flight or freeze… none of which are helpful in this time. I love Twitter, but I have to be careful right now… it can be an echo chamber of sadness and stress. The news I’ve found that is the most informative, most accurate and least stressful is the PBS News Hour.

Guard your spirit. Find a place and a way to keep your heart full, your #EyesOpen and your compassion alive. This is not a sprint… it’s clear we are in this new world of COVID for a while. #WeNeedYou so please protect yourself in body, mind and soul.

Photo credit

Last minute holiday gifts for busy people in your life

There’s still time!

If you have a medical student, resident, physician or anyone who is super busy in your family, here are few last minute gift ideas for you….

A Letter

I’m starting with this one because even though it’s obvious, we forget the power of stories in our lives to heal and support each other. Consider writing a long letter with stories about how they inspire you, when they decided on their career, funny events, etc.  Stress joy, humor… and gratitude.

Photo credit

Spotify and/or Pandora without commercials

Many of us study with music, and most of us work (at least sometimes) with music in the background. These two platforms are currently the most used in the hospital. Being able to listen to the music of your choice without commercials is a great gift!

Photo credit

InstantPot

Of all the cooking appliances and gifts, this one is the best for people who want to eat well but don’t have a lot of time. Even if you have to wrap the “IOU” (i.e. a picture of the InstantPot), it will be a very appreciated gift!

Photo credit

A clean home

No one likes to clean their home, but all of us need this!  Even if it’s a deep clean every 3 months for a year, this is a great gift for anyone. Although there are professional services you can find, consider contacting local places of worship or non-profit organizations who may know responsible individuals who need the work.

Photo credit

A subscription to Headspace

This one might seem a little strange, but you’ll have to trust me. For anyone who is “too busy” this is an easy way to really stop – even for 10 minutes a day – and “refuel”. BTW, get yourself a subscription (or at least try the first 10 lessons which are free). You’re welcome 🙂

Link to Andy Puddicombe’s TED talk (the founder of Headspace)

Other ideas for gift certificates

  • A healthy grocery store
  • A smoothie or juice shop
  • Their favorite restaurant(s)
  • Car wash
  • Starbucks (or even better, a local coffee shop near them)
  • Prepared healthy meals from one of the many companies that do this now
  • Membership to the YMCA or a gym near them
  • A new bicycle? (we never get too old to love this!)
  • “Date night” certificates for movies, plays or music and a meal
  • A favorite museum

Photo credit

Shopping for the Week (and Your Soul)

Whenever I can, I go to our local farmers’ market on Saturday morning to buy food for the week. There is the obvious benefit that the food is organic, healthy and fresh, but there are some other benefits you might not have thought about. First, there is something special about eating with the seasons. Right now is peach season and they are amazing… but they will be gone in a few weeks, to be replaced in the fall and winter with citrus fruits. Secondly, you learn the names of the people who raise your food – and they will recognize you after a few weeks of shopping with them. The farmers’ market becomes a social connection, created through food, that Is sustaining in a different way. Finally, the experience of the market itself is so different from the stress of the work week – bright colors, happy people, music, food trucks, etc.

Now what exactly did I buy? When I get home, I put all of the food out on my kitchen counter and take a photo. The task of taking the photo is just fun for me (I love the colors and how beautiful it looks) but, to be honest, I started doing this so I could remember what I bought. So the next thing I do is make a list from the photo.

First one home starts cooking! I use a program called Paprika 3 to plan the week. It includes a browser to look for recipes, a weekly planner to list when I’m (tentatively) planning to cook each recipe, and a shopping list. Even better, the app is shared with my significant other so we both have all the info.

Link to this website

So, what are we cooking this week? After trying different combos in the browser such as “okra and sweet peppers recipe” or “papalo recipe”, here is what our menu looks like for this week. There is never a week that we follow the menu exactly – and I think that’s really important. This is the destination, but not the journey! We swap evenings, trade lunches for dinners, whatever works for the week. Note also, that since we aren’t on call this weekend, we are cooking a lot on Sunday to have leftovers during the week.

Need anything else? I make a separate shopping list for the missing items in the recipes (if they aren’t in the pantry already) and go to pick them up at a nearby grocery store.

If it’s going to be a busy week, we get ready. Most of cooking is the preparation, right?  When you walk in the door exhausted at 7:30, it’s hard to have enough energy to cook. That magically changes if everything is already cut up and ready to throw in the bowl or pan. We’ll make stock from all the leftover vegetables peels and ends and spend some time cutting things up to have them ready.

Link to website

I hope this helps! It’s true for anyone who is busy, but medical students and residents have a particularly hard time finding the time to eat well. Give this plan a try… it will not only give your body the kind of food it craves (and needs)… you’ll be surprised at how it refuels you in other ways, too.

Link to website and photo credit

Happy New Year’s Resolutions!

Like most of you, my New Years resolutions in past years have been something like “Exercise every day” or “Eat fruits and vegetables with every meal.” And, I bet that you had the same experience I did… a few weeks of “success” and then they seemed to fade away. The problem with these kinds of goals are how they are structured. They end up being “either-or” goals … you are either able to do them or, more often, you miss a day (or two… or three) and feel like a failure.

I recently read a blog post by Ryder Carroll, the originator of the Bullet Journal which profoundly changed the way I think about goal setting and New Year’s Resolutions

Photo credit

It’s a simple, but very powerful concept. Set your goal as a destination… as a “lighthouse” in the distance, and then head in that direction every day. As Ryder Carroll explains, “When goals are lighthouses, success is defined by simply showing up, by daily progress no matter how big or small…”

So instead of the usual New Year’s Resolutions, pick a few “lighthouse goals”. Write them down and keep track of how you are doing (every journey needs a map). This can be as simple as one piece of paper for each goal, but I am such a fan of the Bullet Journal, I hope you consider using it.

When you get up every morning think about how to move towards your goal(s). If you veer off course, that’s part of the journey…. look up, find your lighthouse, and correct your course.  Every once in a while (maybe monthly?), look at the progress you’ve made and celebrate it! If, on the other hand, the goals you originally chose don’t make sense for you any more, pick some new goals, draw a new map and start over.

Potential New Year “Lighthouse” goals

  • Learn more about compassion and practice it
  • Be a better friend
  • Write genuine thank you notes to people who have helped me
  • Become more fit
  • Eat real food for as many meals a week as I can
  • Find out more about who I really am through meditation
  • Keep a “stop doing” list
  • Be better at my work through deliberate practice (practicing and learning the things I don’t like and aren’t good at until I’m better)
  • Stay organized so I don’t waste time (and end up focusing on trivial things instead of what’s really important)
  • Read things that bring me joy
  • Learn about and use a Bullet Journal
  • Find a community to support me
  • Learn the names of as many people at work as I can
  • Take the stairs as often as I can
  • Make my living spaces enjoyable spaces
  • Keep a journal to remember milestones and work out struggles
  • Get good sleep as often as possible
  • Learn Spanish (or any new language)
  • Be on time
  • Remember people’s birthdays and send a card
  • Start the day with intention
  • Appropriately limit email and social media time

Holiday Gifts for Medical Students, Residents, Physicians and Other Busy People


Every year I try to post gift suggestions for the family and friends of people in medicine (and all other busy professions).  Here are this year’s suggestions!

Image result for empathetic listening
Photo credit (and article on the Art of Empathetic Listening)

Listen.  A great friend of mine told me once that human beings heal by telling stories. There are lots of stories in medicine that go untold, but I promise you there are stories. Listen mindfully, without judgment and without trying to “fix” anything. Start with “Tell me a story about something that amazed you”… and then take it from there. 

Image result for letter writing
Photo credit

Write a letter.  Write a “letter of recommendation”. Yes, I’m serious! Not a letter to “get” or be elected to anything, but a letter that shows you know who they really are and how amazing it is that they have dedicated themselves to something so important. Make it a love letter, a letter of support, a letter with family history to encourage them… but a real letter. Write it on a computer and then print it, or use some beautiful stationary and a pen, but create a physical letter that will sit on their desk. Put the letter in a special box (something you might add to from time to time with other short letters?). 

Image result for instant pot
Photo credit

Instant Pot. There are kitchen conveniences, there are fads, and then there is the Instant Pot. This has taken on almost cult like status among users for a reason. It’s a 6 in one device (pressure cooker, slow cooker, rice cooker, saute, steamer and warmer) that makes it easy to cook healthy food. For students and residents, the 6 quart basic Instant Pot does everything you need it to do, but feel free to choose one with more bells and whistles if you want. 

A cleaning service. No one likes to clean toilets. And, if you are working 80 hours a week, housework takes away precious personal time to socialize, exercise or restore your batteries in other ways. If you are in a position to do so, see if you can make this a win-win by working with a church, refugee placement group or another social justice group to find someone specific who really needs this kind of work. Whether it’s a one time “deep clean”, a monthly clean, or weekly cleaning and laundry, any help will be a deeply appreciated gift. Another approach is to do a little “sneaky” homework – your loved one may have a friend who has already found someone wonderful who might need more work.

 

Photo credit

The Gift of Organization.  I have become a huge fan of the Bullet Journal. It is incredibly easy, very versatile and, I believe, a perfect system for medical students, residents and docs. (especially when paired with a list on your smart phone when you are separate from your Bullet Journal). Choose a good Moleskin journal and the new book by Ryder Carroll, who developed this technique, and wrap them together as a perfect gift. If you want to really make their day, include a package of good (but not too expensive) pens

A gym membership (and other related gifts).  It’s really hard to find time to exercise if you are busy, but it’s critical for mental and physical health. There are a lot of options here, but they need to be specific to the likes and dislikes of your loved one. If they are a runner, maybe a gift certificate for new shoes? Do they like spin classes? If so, check out where the good classes are near them. Same for yoga, dance, ice skating, tennis, swimming, etc. A membership at a YMCA ( if there is one near them) will give them access to weights, classes and often a pool. Would they commute to school/work if they had a good bicycle? Can you get them a new watch or fitness monitor that will help count steps and flights of stairs? Would an “on the go” exercise kithelp them? 

A Meditation App.  I tell my students that if they can only pick one thing on the self-care list to choose, that this would be it. There are plenty of data that show the stress-reducing benefits of meditation. What is amazing is that if you have a meditation practice the other self-care is easier, too. This is a great tool to help meet the goal to be better and happier physicians. 

Photo credit

Your time.Can you cook some meals once a month and put them in their freezer?  Do laundry? Bake cookies and mail them? Get their car washed every once in a while? Make an elaborate certificate with something you could do for them and wrap it as a present?

 Need other ideas?  Here are links to some previous lists: 201720162014,