If you have a medical student, resident, physician or anyone who is super busy in your family, here are few last minute gift ideas for you….
A Letter
I’m starting with this one because even though it’s obvious, we forget the power of stories in our lives to heal and support each other. Consider writing a long letter with stories about how they inspire you, when they decided on their career, funny events, etc. Stress joy, humor… and gratitude.
Many of us study with music, and most of us work (at least sometimes) with music in the background. These two platforms are currently the most used in the hospital. Being able to listen to the music of your choice without commercials is a great gift!
Of all the cooking appliances and gifts, this one is the best for people who want to eat well but don’t have a lot of time. Even if you have to wrap the “IOU” (i.e. a picture of the InstantPot), it will be a very appreciated gift!
No one likes to clean their home, but all of us need this! Even if it’s a deep clean every 3 months for a year, this is a great gift for anyone. Although there are professional services you can find, consider contacting local places of worship or non-profit organizations who may know responsible individuals who need the work.
This one might seem a little strange, but you’ll have to trust me. For anyone who is “too busy” this is an easy way to really stop – even for 10 minutes a day – and “refuel”. BTW, get yourself a subscription (or at least try the first 10 lessons which are free). You’re welcome 🙂
Whenever I can, I go to our local farmers’ market on Saturday morning to buy food for the week. There is the obvious benefit that the food is organic, healthy and fresh, but there are some other benefits you might not have thought about. First, there is something special about eating with the seasons. Right now is peach season and they are amazing… but they will be gone in a few weeks, to be replaced in the fall and winter with citrus fruits. Secondly, you learn the names of the people who raise your food – and they will recognize you after a few weeks of shopping with them. The farmers’ market becomes a social connection, created through food, that Is sustaining in a different way. Finally, the experience of the market itself is so different from the stress of the work week – bright colors, happy people, music, food trucks, etc.
Now what exactly did I buy? When I get home, I put all of the food out on my kitchen counter and take a photo. The task of taking the photo is just fun for me (I love the colors and how beautiful it looks) but, to be honest, I started doing this so I could remember what I bought. So the next thing I do is make a list from the photo.
First one home starts cooking! I use a program called Paprika 3 to plan the week. It includes a browser to look for recipes, a weekly planner to list when I’m (tentatively) planning to cook each recipe, and a shopping list. Even better, the app is shared with my significant other so we both have all the info.
So, what are we cooking this week? After trying
different combos in the browser such as “okra and sweet peppers recipe” or “papalo
recipe”, here is what our menu looks like for this week. There is never a week
that we follow the menu exactly – and I think that’s really important. This is
the destination, but not the journey! We swap evenings, trade lunches for
dinners, whatever works for the week. Note also, that since we aren’t on call
this weekend, we are cooking a lot on Sunday to have leftovers during the week.
Need anything else? I make a separate shopping list
for the missing items in the recipes (if they aren’t in the pantry already) and
go to pick them up at a nearby grocery store.
If it’s going to be a busy week, we get ready. Most of cooking is the preparation, right? When you walk in the door exhausted at 7:30, it’s hard to have enough energy to cook. That magically changes if everything is already cut up and ready to throw in the bowl or pan. We’ll make stock from all the leftover vegetables peels and ends and spend some time cutting things up to have them ready.
I hope this helps! It’s true for anyone who is busy,
but medical students and residents have a particularly hard time finding the time
to eat well. Give this plan a try… it will not only give your body the kind of
food it craves (and needs)… you’ll be surprised at how it refuels you in other
ways, too.
A few days ago
I was talking with a male colleague who is a leader in his department. He is a good friend, so we often talk about a
variety of things. He brought up the issue of equity in his department. He told
me (and I wasn’t surprised) that he was working hard to make sure that there
was salary equity for the women in the group. I asked him if they knew he was
doing that. He responded, after a pause,
that only he and his second in command knew.
“You need to
tell them.”
He paused and
said, “That’s a really good idea. I didn’t think of it.”
Each of us has a “social location” that is a composite of our social identities e.g. gender, race, sexual identity, etc. There is usually a perceived (and totally constructed) “hierarchy” of these social identities. In the United States, at this moment, it’s pretty clear that the “dominant” social location would be: White, Male, Heterosexual, Cis-gendered and Able-bodied (I’m leaving it there without adding other social identities such as immigrant status, age, education… etc. etc.)
Here’s the main point I want to make. If you are in the “dominant” social location (i.e. White, Male, Heterosexual, Cis-Gendered and/or Able-bodied), you most likely cannot “see” the location of others that are not “dominant”… even though you think there is no way you are less than supportive of people that aren’t like you.
Huh?
David Foster
Wallace probably describes this phenomenon best in his amazing commencement
address “This
is Water”.
“There are these two young fish swimming along and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way, who nods at them and says “Morning, boys. How’s the water?” And the two young fish swim on for a bit, and then eventually one of them looks over at the other and goes “What the hell is water?”
Let me give you
some specific examples from the world of medicine…
When
a Lantinx colleague walks into Grand Rounds and notices they are one of three
people of color who are there, their response is probably very different than
mine. Being white is never something
I’m aware of when I’m sitting in Grand Rounds.
If
you are a man, you are most likely not aware that when I or other women attend
a meeting, that we are completely aware of our identity as a woman as we speak
out (or don’t). It probably never crosses your mind, as you get up to a
microphone, that you are a man. You probably also don’t realize that you may unknowingly
introduce
your male colleagues as “Doctor” and your female colleague by their first names.
When
we, as leaders, only acknowledge Christian holidays on our calendars, and even
worse, when we schedule important classes, tests, or events on Yom Kippur, Eid
al-Fitr, or Dewali, we are not
discriminating intentionally, but we are acting from a place of not
“seeing” students and residents who are not Christian.
I think that’s why my friend didn’t realize how important it would be to let the women in his group know that he had their back. I also think it explains the genuine confusion of many leaders in medicine who truly believe they are equitable and fair … and who are then at a complete loss when they learn they somehow “stumbled” into acting in a way that differed from that perception.
Here’s another wonderful fact. Once you learn about “the water” (i.e. social location) it will change everything…for the better. Because – once you see it you can’t ever go back.
I don't know where prayers go,
or what they do.
Do cats pray, while they sleep
half-asleep in the sun?
Does the opossum pray as it
crosses the street?
The sunflowers? The old black oak
growing older every year?
I know I can walk through the world,
along the shore or under the trees,
with my mind filled with things
of little importance, in full
self-attendance. A condition I can't really
call being alive
Is a prayer a gift, or a petition,
or does it matter?
The sunflowers blaze, maybe that's their way.
Maybe the cats are sound asleep. Maybe not.
While I was thinking this I happened to be standing
just outside my door, with my notebook open,
which is the way I begin every morning.
Then a wren in the privet began to sing.
He was positively drenched in enthusiasm,
I don't know why. And yet, why not.
I wouldn't persuade you from whatever you believe
or whatever you don't. That's your business.
But I thought, of the wren's singing, what could this be
if it isn't a prayer?
So I just listened, my pen in the air.
I just taught two of my residents an easy way to log cases without stickers, notebooks, cards (or any other HIPPA risky methods). They were all but jumping up and down with happiness, so I decided this might be worth sharing.
(For those that aren’t in medicine, this is a requirement for everyone training in a procedural based field in medicine.)
Step 1:At the end of the case, when you open the computer for the orders and notes, highlight and copy the patient info at the top of the screen.
Step 2: Open your Outlook calendar. Every institution gives you an Outlook account for your email and (even if you haven’t found it yet) this has a calendar, too. Hospital and medical school Outlook accounts are password protected and HIPPA compliant. (It would be a good idea to double check at your institution, but I haven’t found one yet where this isn’t true).
Step 3: Create an “appointment” for your case.
Paste what you copied from Epic into the “note” portion of the appointment. It will look like the green box in the image below.
Copy the name and MRN to the subject line of the “appointment”
Add the attending’s name if it’s not in the info copied from Epic.
Step 4: To officially log your case, open the ACGME site in a window next to your open calendar. Copy and paste the information from your calendar to log the case (isn’t that better than typing all that info?!?!…. you’re welcome!)
Step 4b: Put an asterix by the patients name in your calendar entry to show that you logged this case.
Hope that helps! If
you discover any important tricks or shortcuts to add to this system, please
contact me or comment below!
Like most of
you, my New Years resolutions in past years have been something like “Exercise
every day” or “Eat fruits and vegetables with every meal.” And, I bet that you
had the same experience I did… a few weeks of “success” and then they seemed to
fade away. The problem with these kinds of goals are how they are structured.
They end up being “either-or” goals … you are either able to do them or, more
often, you miss a day (or two… or three) and feel like a failure.
It’s a simple, but very powerful concept. Set your goal as a destination… as a “lighthouse” in the distance, and then head in that direction every day. As Ryder Carroll explains, “When goals are lighthouses, success is defined by simply showing up, by daily progress no matter how big or small…”
So instead of the usual New Year’s Resolutions, pick a few “lighthouse goals”. Write them down and keep track of how you are doing (every journey needs a map). This can be as simple as one piece of paper for each goal, but I am such a fan of the Bullet Journal, I hope you consider using it.
When you get up every morning think about how to move towards your goal(s). If you veer off course, that’s part of the journey…. look up, find your lighthouse, and correct your course. Every once in a while (maybe monthly?), look at the progress you’ve made and celebrate it! If, on the other hand, the goals you originally chose don’t make sense for you any more, pick some new goals, draw a new map and start over.
Potential New Year “Lighthouse” goals
Learn
more about compassion and practice it
Be
a better friend
Write
genuine thank you notes to people who have helped me
Become
more fit
Eat
real food for as many meals a week as I can
Find
out more about who I really am through meditation
Keep
a “stop doing” list
Be
better at my work through deliberate practice (practicing and learning the
things I don’t like and aren’t good at until I’m better)
Stay
organized so I don’t waste time (and end up focusing on trivial things instead
of what’s really important)
Read
things that bring me joy
Learn
about and use a Bullet Journal
Find
a community to support me
Learn
the names of as many people at work as I can
Take
the stairs as often as I can
Make
my living spaces enjoyable spaces
Keep
a journal to remember milestones and work out struggles
Every year I try to post gift suggestions for the family and friends of people in medicine (and all other busy professions). Here are this year’s suggestions!
Listen. A great friend of mine told me once that human beings heal by telling stories. There are lots of stories in medicine that go untold, but I promise you there are stories. Listen mindfully, without judgment and without trying to “fix” anything. Start with “Tell me a story about something that amazed you”… and then take it from there.
Write a letter. Write a “letter of recommendation”. Yes, I’m serious! Not a letter to “get” or be elected to anything, but a letter that shows you know who they really are and how amazing it is that they have dedicated themselves to something so important. Make it a love letter, a letter of support, a letter with family history to encourage them… but a real letter. Write it on a computer and then print it, or use some beautiful stationary and a pen, but create a physical letter that will sit on their desk. Put the letter in a special box (something you might add to from time to time with other short letters?).
Instant Pot. There are kitchen conveniences, there are fads, and then there is the Instant Pot. This has taken on almost cult like status among users for a reason. It’s a 6 in one device (pressure cooker, slow cooker, rice cooker, saute, steamer and warmer) that makes it easy to cook healthy food. For students and residents, the 6 quart basic Instant Pot does everything you need it to do, but feel free to choose one with more bells and whistles if you want.
A cleaning service. No one likes to clean toilets. And, if you are working 80 hours a week, housework takes away precious personal time to socialize, exercise or restore your batteries in other ways. If you are in a position to do so, see if you can make this a win-win by working with a church, refugee placement group or another social justice group to find someone specific who really needs this kind of work. Whether it’s a one time “deep clean”, a monthly clean, or weekly cleaning and laundry, any help will be a deeply appreciated gift. Another approach is to do a little “sneaky” homework – your loved one may have a friend who has already found someone wonderful who might need more work.
The Gift of Organization. I have become a huge fan of the Bullet Journal. It is incredibly easy, very versatile and, I believe, a perfect system for medical students, residents and docs. (especially when paired with a list on your smart phone when you are separate from your Bullet Journal). Choose a good Moleskin journal and the new book by Ryder Carroll, who developed this technique, and wrap them together as a perfect gift. If you want to really make their day, include a package of good (but not too expensive) pens.
A gym membership (and other related gifts). It’s really hard to find time to exercise if you are busy, but it’s critical for mental and physical health. There are a lot of options here, but they need to be specific to the likes and dislikes of your loved one. If they are a runner, maybe a gift certificate for new shoes? Do they like spin classes? If so, check out where the good classes are near them. Same for yoga, dance, ice skating, tennis, swimming, etc. A membership at a YMCA ( if there is one near them) will give them access to weights, classes and often a pool. Would they commute to school/work if they had a good bicycle? Can you get them a new watch or fitness monitor that will help count steps and flights of stairs? Would an “on the go” exercise kithelp them?
A Meditation App. I tell my students that if they can only pick one thing on the self-care list to choose, that this would be it. There are plenty of data that show the stress-reducing benefits of meditation. What is amazing is that if you have a meditation practice the other self-care is easier, too. This is a great tool to help meet the goal to be better and happier physicians.
Your time.Can you cook some meals once a month and put them in their freezer? Do laundry? Bake cookies and mail them? Get their car washed every once in a while? Make an elaborate certificate with something you could do for them and wrap it as a present?
Need other ideas? Here are links to some previous lists: 2017, 2016, 2014,
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, so today I’m with my family, looking at the timeline for tomorrow and discussing when the pies need to go in, who is making the cornbread and calculating how long the turkey needs to cook.
As of today, there will be 12,996 families in the United States who lost a family member to gun violence in 2018…. almost 13,000 Thanksgiving tables with an empty seat from a preventable death – from this year alone.
Late at night on November 7th, the NRA posted this on Twitter:
I, and many other physicians responded as soon as we saw it…
My second tweet was followed by a long thread of PubMed abstracts with research results showing how we might start decreasing deaths from gun violence. The NRA, interestingly, removed all of those Tweets from their timeline.
#ThisIsOurLane has become a movement. A callous Tweet from the NRA started it, but that’s not what is sustaining it now. As I discussed in this podcast, I think what the NRA did was make physicians realize that this “debate” is not about politics, it’s about lives… human lives… sisters, brothers, mothers, fathers, friends. It’s about our patients and, unfortunately, our colleagues. As a result of what has happened since November 7th, physicians have realized we need two things to move this forward: stories and data. Human beings are not swayed by debates, they are moved by stories. Good decisions can’t be made on emotions alone – we need data and that means research, and funds to do that research.
Commit to questioning what you hear – from both sides. Question whether the fear created by the NRA is to serve another, more political aim… one that you might not completely understand or agree with. Ask questions. Ask for data. Recognize and ignore political rhetoric (from both sides). Keep an open mind.
Support the funding of research into gun violence. Contact your representatives to let them know this a priority for you. This is no different than what we did as a society when we looked at death from car crashes… and developed seat belts, stronger cars frames and air bags. Wouldn’t it be great if we could see the same decrease in gun deaths through research?
If you are in healthcare, tell the stories in a way that respects your patients and their rights… but tell them. If you are on social media, use that platform. Until people realize that these are our siblings, parents, colleagues, and not just statistics, we won’t make progress. We have to move hearts before we can move minds.
I am so thankful for my family, for the opportunity to gather at the Thanksgiving table together, and for the many friends and opportunities that have been given to me. My heart goes out to all families who have lost a loved one to gun violence, including the horrible loss of life by suicide. May you find some small solace in knowing that we are holding you in the light – and that we will continue to work hard to end the tragic epidemic of gun violence in our country.
Photo credit (and info on the new initiative to stop gun violence from Toms.com)
